Dum da da dum...

So...my lovely, talented, and occasionally exhausted wife suggested that enough time has passed since the birth of our child that the revelation of the contest winner(s) will likely not result in a flurry of jealous bloodshed. Accordingly, here is a list of the winners in each category (as well as the actual measurement, which, it was pointed out, we neglected to include in our birth announcement-A) and the overall winner:

Length - 20.5 in: Renee, Kimberlie (tie)
Weight - 7 lbs 2 oz: Dave
Head Circumference - 34.5 cm: Jessica
Date of Birth - 01/04/08: Kimberlie
Time of Birth - 12:12 pm: Lia
Apgar - 8: Brooke, Jeremy, Jessica, Justin, Kimberlie, Renee (tie)

And the overall winner is...Justin. (Despite taking the victory in three separate categories, Kimberlie's losses in the other four areas were great. Justin managed to come off victorious by proving to be not the best, but second best in all but one entry. And thus we see that mediocrity can result in superiority. -A)

Congratulations to all who entered for your resulting positive feelings for having participated in something wholesome. Congratulations to the category winners for having received recognition to set them apart from their peers. Congratulations to the overall winner for having been the best-educated guesser of the group, plus an accompanying warning to not get a big head about it. And, most of all, congratulations to us for once again producing a fine specimen of little boyhood.